Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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