Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
