idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
