Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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