i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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