You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
