I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
