it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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