I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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