I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
