Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
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