I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
