I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
