i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Can I color on your dick again?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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