It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
