Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
