So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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