Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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