Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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