There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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