just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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