1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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