My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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