you're like a bully in the Christmas story
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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