Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
