I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
