then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
