you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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