North Korea, Best Korea!
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
