if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
BRING THE BAGELS
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
