eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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