how can u be prego again
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
