bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
