You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
