I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Panties = found
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