he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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