I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
