youre lurking in front of me
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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