my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
