i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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