What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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