I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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