being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
