You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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