You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
