actually, I'm a sock model
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
