considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
