I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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