she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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