I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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