i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
