No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I am mentally ready for anal.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
