You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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