I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
