when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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